On Wednesday morning, in what can only be an elaborate marketing campaign, the official Mr. Peanut Twitter account announced the passing of Mr. Peanut himself. The monocle-wearing token legume of the one percent was 104-years-old when he reportedly “sacrificed himself to save his friends when they needed him most.” This cryptic explanation triggered a barrage of condolences from other brands and media properties, from Snickers to BoJack Horseman.
Pouring one out for the Planters mascot is all well and good, but as I saw “Mr. Peanut” and “#RIPeanut” become the top trending topics on Twitter, an important question came to mind: Has Jezebel ever done a “Would U?” for Mr. Peanut?e have, in fact, never done a Would U for Mr.
Peanut. So I posed the question to my colleagues in the most professional way possible: Would u let Mr. Nut nut?I would not fuck the peanut bc HE IS DEAD AND THAT IS ILLEGAL IN MANY STATES IF NOT ALL OF THEM.I have too much solidarity to bone Mr. Nut. Isn’t he basically a private equity guy?
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