Why unconditional parental acceptance is key to raising resilient children

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Why unconditional parental acceptance is key to raising resilient children
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With modern life’s changing landscape – including the prevalence of social media and societal expectations – developing resilience in children is more important than ever.

Given how challenging life is, with the advent of social media and technology, developing resilience in children is more important than ever. — 123rf.com

She says a child needs a supportive family who is not quick to judge, but instead, always ready to listen and lend support. And with modern life’s changing landscape – including the prevalence of social media and societal expectations – developing resilience in children is more important than ever. Yee Ying and husband Nicholas Lim emphasise age-appropriate tasks for their sons Ethan and Evan. — Photos: LOW BOON TAT/The Star

Here’s how parents and caregivers can develop resilience in children and equip them with the necessary mental fortitude to face life’s challenges.■ Give love: Dr Yong Junina says while we can’t “teach” resilience to infants or babies, we can help build it with unconditional love.

■ Don’t overpraise: Don’t smother them with praises when the task is not up to standard. Children see through these and make them trust you less. Instead, say, “Good job. Next time I’m sure you can do even better as you practise in class and at home,” Dr Yong Junina says.■ Allow independent learning: Many parents send their children for extra classes for school subjects. Unless the child has a learning disability, this may not be best.

■ Don’t force your child to do something you like: If it’s important that he tries a certain activity, make a deal. Ask him to try for a semester and allow him to quit if he is still not interested. Do not berate him for quitting by citing the cost of the activity, says Dr Yong Junina. “If they are used to doing difficult things and experiencing failure from young, they won’t be afraid to attempt demanding things in the future and they will not give up easily when faced with challenges. They know that failure doesn’t mean the end of the world but an opportunity to try another way,” Yee Ying continues.

Samantha and Donovan say both openness and boundaries are important in raising Tyler and Tiffany. — Photos: YAP CHEE HONG/The Star

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