DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our elderly mother just passed away. ... One family had her over to dinner weekly. How do we thank them now that she has passed?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our elderly mother just passed away. My siblings and I live far from the town where we grew up, which my mother refused to leave. Between our frequent visits home, we had to rely on cousins to help with our mother. One family had her over to dinner weekly.
How do we thank them now that she has passed? She left a considerable estate, and we thought maybe to thank them monetarily, but that may give offense as we know their assistance was given out of love. A charitable donation in their name seems not to the point. As for a personal gift, we do not know enough about their individual tastes to buy something meaningful.GENTLE READER: By expressing it.
Miss Manners is surprised that the last thing people seem to think of in expressing gratitude is to offer warm written evidence. Surely a testimonial to their great kindness will be more valued than any trinket.DEAR MISS MANNERS: Just before the onset of the pandemic, my wife and I realized a longtime dream and bought a vacation/retirement home in a popular community.
Due to pandemic limitations and work commitments, we haven’t spent much time there, and wish we could go more often. Now, with vaccinations and boosters, we are comfortable flying, and try to go there every couple of months for a week or two. We’ve started to get unsolicited requests to use our place “since you’re not there” from different individuals -- not family or close friends. While we have had family visit us there, and are having friends come down during our next trip, we didn’t buy the house to rent or loan it out when we are not there. The thought of having a bunch of people there without us kind of grosses me out; I never wanted to be a B&B owner.
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