My son was (and still is) what a lot of white America fears: a big black boy.
This includes talking to all of our kids, and especially our son, about the rules they must follow when encountering police, when shopping in a store, and when being in any public space. Rules like no hoods up, no running, no hands in pockets, and always get a receipt and bag for purchases. My children are never allowed to play outdoors with toy guns—not even in our own yard. Yes, it’s been heartbreaking to explain to our children why we have these rules. Yet, it’s 100% necessary.
When my son was four, I went to his school for a parent-teacher conference. I was a bit anxious, as some parents tend to be, hoping for a good report. As I sat across from his teacher in a tiny chair built for my son, I leaned forward and listened as she described his academic progress. Then she said to me, “I probably shouldn’t ask you this, but, was your son born drug addicted?” I was stunned, just as I was when another white woman called my son a thug.
It’s hard for me to trust white people, if I’m being honest. Sometimes what they believe comes out of their mouths: what you see is what you get. But oftentimes, I just don’t know who I’m dealing with. And just because a white person is nice to my son, it doesn’t mean that person is woke. Some people believe that merely tolerating my children or claiming to be colorblind means they are somehow non-racist. They aren’t fooling me, or any other mother of a black child.
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