How to talk about consent with your kids, from toddlers to teens via Yahoo
"It all starts with building circuits of self-trust, not self-doubt," Nadel tells Yahoo Life. "And this actually can start right away by validating your child’s experience. Every time you validate your child’s feelings or experience, you are essentially telling them that they know their body best and that they are good feelers of their feelings — and these are foundations for consent.
"Speak early and often about body sovereignty," Nadel says. "Within your family, validating a child’s emotions and experience sets the tone for consent because a child will always be getting the message that they know their body best."Teaching kids that their instincts are valid and that they have agency is just one part of the equation. When it comes to the body — and sex, puberty and so forth — clear, candid conversations are the way forward, Nadel says.
"This massively reduces shame around these topics and when we reduce shame, we help kids make better decisions because kids feel comfortable expressing themselves instead of feeling like they’re doing something wrong," she notes.There's no guarantee that these conversations will be easy. Even as an adult, you may still cringe at the memory of the "birds and bees" talk your own parents gave, or remember turning beet-red during sex ed at school.
"This is not a one-time conversation," she says, adding that parents should maintain an open line of communication with their kids and check in regularly, particularly around milestones like getting their period for the first time or starting to date. The latter in particular is a good opportunity for parents to initiate a conversation about consent and refresh an older child's understanding of what it entails.
"Another thing is [to let them know] they're always free to change their minds," she adds. "For example, if they initiate an activity like intercourse, and then they start to get anxious or uncomfortable, they're always allowed to change their mind. Once something is initiated, it doesn't mean they have to take it to conclusion."
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