Dear Care and Feeding: My Wife is Mad I Found Our Child’s Donor Siblings

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Dear Care and Feeding: My Wife is Mad I Found Our Child’s Donor Siblings
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I took my spouse at her word that I could “do whatever I wanted.” Now she’s really upset with me.

My wife and I, both women, have one child, who is now 5. We used a sperm donor from a federally licensed bank, to ensure our legal parental rights. I conceived and carried the baby, and both our names are on the birth certificate. Here’s the thing: A couple of months ago, I brought up with my wife the prospect of finding our kid’s donor siblings. She told me she wasn’t crazy about the idea but that I should go ahead and do what I want .

If she had been clear and direct, the two of you could have talked it out—assuming your response to that straightforwardness wouldn’t have been to say, “Butwant to, and I think it’s what’s good for our family, so I’m just gonna go ahead and do it anyway and you’ll have to live with it!” Yes, it might have taken a long time for you two to work this out—and it might have taken a marriage counselor or some other objective third person to help you through this morass—but you wouldn’t be where you...

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