Dear Abby: Man’s history as abuse victim impacts marriage

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Dear Abby: Man’s history as abuse victim impacts marriage
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DEAR ABBY: My husband was forced into sex at the age of 12 by an older female. He has expressed how humiliated he felt and that he made it his mission to never feel inadequate again. ...

DEAR ABBY: My husband was forced into sex at the age of 12 by an older female. He has expressed how humiliated he felt and that he made it his mission to never feel inadequate again. He gets his “knowledge” of satisfying a woman through porn. I have tried to explain to him that what he’s seeing is only a performance put on for the male viewer.

How can I move forward when I feel like he’s stuck in the past? I know being sexually abused causes all kinds of trauma. He insists he’s over it, but his actions tell me otherwise. I’m pretty sure I’m not his first unsatisfied partner because all his other relationships have ended because they were “crazy, stupid, fat, unfaithful ...” I don’t want to give up on him. Please help.

A licensed sex therapist might be able to help your husband see that you are not lying to him when you tell him that what pleases one woman might not please another. If you can’t make him understand what makes you “tick,” then cross your fingers and hope the therapist can get the message across.DEAR ABBY: My 40-year-old nephew, “Randy,” hasn’t spoken with his sister, “Elyse,” in five years because of a disagreement about the resolution of their father’s trust.

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