Advice | Ask Amy: Sisters estranged for decades after one forgave the other’s abuser

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Advice | Ask Amy: Sisters estranged for decades after one forgave the other’s abuser
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Is there a way to mend the relationship between a girl who was abused and her sister who forgave her abuser?

Fast-forward 20 years. The abuse was revealed, and the older sister said that everyone needed to forgive the predator. She opted to keep him in her life, like a brother. The victim no longer trusted her sister, and their relationship was never the same.

They are now all senior citizens, and they could both benefit greatly from each other’s companionship and love. Your advice?The older sister seems to have spent all of her compassion and forgiveness on the man who sexually abused her young and vulnerable sister during much of the girl’s childhood.

Both of these sisters are locked into intractable positions. Nothing will change unless they are both inspired and motivated to honestly state their truths. The younger sister should be given space to continue to heal. The elder should be encouraged to understand how her long-ago choice became an important test of trust and loyalty.

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