Advice: A reader can’t go to their goddaughter’s destination wedding and is confused at an invitation to the wedding shower.
I assume she wanted a wedding that had very few people in attendance; she certainly could not expect her grandparents or anyone who could not afford the trip to attend. That’s fine, but honestly I hate the philosophy, “It’s the bride’s day.” A wedding used to be a celebration of two families joining.
Because of the pressure imposed by destination weddings, wedding showers seem to be changing, too. These more local showers are morphing into wedding celebrations that, for many guests, are more affordable and easier to attend than those far-off tropical weddings.I differ from you in your reaction to be insulted by this shower invitation. I see this as an opportunity to celebrate with the couple and their families, and to express your support and joy for the couple.
And, of course, you can always respond to any shower invitation with a polite: “I’m so sorry I won’t be able to make it to your shower! I wish you both joy and happiness, and hope you have a wonderful wedding.”Reading your column, I know you have recommended publications on how to cope as a spouse of a cancer patient. I wonder whether you could give me some suggestions for resources to help me.My husband has terminal cancer, and right now, I’m having a hard time dealing with the impending loss.
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