Letter from Dr Goh Lim Thye, senior lecturer, Department of Economics, Faculty of Business and Economics, Universiti Malaya
Children protesting against the Middle East conflict in downtown Dallas, Texas, United States, recently. — AP CHILDREN seeing images of the latest conflict in the Middle East may need help making sense of events that many adults find unnerving.
Expo-sure to war, even if it is indirect, can affect how kids think, feel and behave, according to mental health experts. Child psychologists and development specialists encourage parents to check in with their children, make time for age-appropriate conversations and to correct misinformation without going into excessive detail. “Sometimes adults think if they don’t talk about something that is difficult, than it doesn’t exist. But we know that’s not the reality in children’s lives,” says Rebecca Smith, the global head of child protection at Save the Children, an international aid and advocacy organisation. “Ignoring or avoiding the topic of conflict can lead to children feeling lost, alone and scared. ... It is essential to have open and honest conversations with children to help them process what is happening.”
Create a safe space, then listen to and validate feelings: Experts recommend starting with what a child might know about what is happening in Ukraine, Gaza, Iran, Israel, Sudan or other parts of the world before attempting to address any feelings of fear, sadness, anger or anxiety. Some children may not know that fighting has escalated between the United States and Israel on one side and Iran and its proxies on the other. Other kids may be more aware than their families realise and suppress their emotions. To help children work through their emotions, the trusted adults in their lives also need to take care of themselves, according to experts. Guidance from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network says adults sharing their own feelings with children can be an opportunity to convey personal beliefs and values about how to treat others. The key is to not assume what children might be thinking or feeling. If children do not want to talk or are not ready, experts suggest adults remain patient and tell children they are there for them. Some children might share what they have seen or heard, how they feel or ask questions when given an opportunity. Experts say this is when adults should validate their feelings and address what’s happening honestly while taking their ages and maturity levels into account.
The American Psychological Association recommends giving kids basic, age-appropriate information about war and conflict, and addressing any upsetting images, headlines or conversations they were exposed to without going into details that might make them unnecessarily anxious. But ultimately, parents know their children best, experts say. Families who have loved ones in conflict regions may need to take the extra time to discuss the safety of their relatives and friends, and the difficulty of uncertainty. Depending on how young they are, some children can understand the idea that two faraway countries are fighting. But a few may need reassurance they are safe from danger. Older children are likely to understand war and its consequences, which means they might be more concerned and have more questions, the American Psychological Asso-ciation says. Adults may want to consider focusing on what is within their control and giving children some agency, such as supporting humanitarian efforts, staying informed and addressing misinformation.
Unicef, the United Nations agency that provides humanitarian aid and long-term support to children worldwide, says it is OK to not have all the answers.While some global agencies say children should be aware of what is happening in the world, experts say adults still have a responsibility to keep youngsters safe and limit unnecessary exposure. Parents are encouraged to pay attention to how exposed children are to the news. The younger the child, the less exposure they should have, according to the US National Child Traumatic Stress Network. Some agencies recommend switching off the news entirely or limiting conversations about distressing events with other adults if children can hear. Others recommend using the opportunity to educate children on the importance of news, understanding where to find accurate facts and how to identify when something is not true or deceiving. Save the Children says caregivers can model responsible digital behavior, encourage kids not to spread harmful or graphic information and remind them to think twice before sharing content that is possibly inaccurate or emotionally triggering. — AP
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