'You know Coldplay's here because Chris Martin will sit beside and stare at you'

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'You know Coldplay's here because Chris Martin will sit beside and stare at you'
Croke ParkChris Martin
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'We've given Chris and his pals Croke Park - you would have thought that would be enough, but he's popping up everywhere'

But while banjo players might lack empathy for their fellow man, or woman, and sometimes play in public, I've a tad more humanity in my soul.

You'll know Coldplay are in town because you'll see Chris Martin sit down beside you and stare at you. And what's to say Chris will draw the line at banjo players? Clear indications are he won't. I now issue a formal Red Grafton Street Impromptu Gig Alert - avoid unnecessary journeys. Your car is perfectly alright. But you're at the NCT centre again because you have to be. You're looking at people looking at your car.

You're standing at a machine outside a shop, with a bag full of empty cans. Some go into the Re-turn machine. Some don't. You get stale IPA on your hands.

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