Like many middle-aged comfortably married men, I have become a lazy shadow of my former self.
I’m an advocate of lifelong learning and at 53 I have learned helplessness. I still arrange events with my children and social engagements separate from my marriage, but for everything else I defer to a higher power, my wife, because frankly she’s good at it.
Like other multiple married men , Mr Murdoch appears unable to get by for long without a female companion. In the past 67 years he’s been on his own for just four. And while his millions are no doubt an attraction, what’s less attractive is his seeming dependence on relationships. ‘Men are socially lazy, they would rather be in a club with a schedule or an organiser who tells them when and where to turn up.’Women in similar situations showed no signs of inflammation. The study theorised this was possibly because middle-aged women, compared with men of the same age, typically had larger friendship groups offering more emotional support.
Indeed, in most marriages the wife is the glue that keeps the extended family together and organises the social diary, whether she means to or not.Psychologist Charlotte Armitage says this role is often hardwired from what we have witnessed in childhood. “Once you’ve been in a relationship where one person does everything for long enough it becomes the dynamic of the relationship. The man loses confidence and when the relationship breaks down, he struggles to cope.
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