Why Is It So Hard to Say 'I Love You'?

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Why Is It So Hard to Say 'I Love You'?
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Why it's so valuable to express feelings of love—even when it's scary

I was thinking of a friend of mine recently—not a terribly close friend, but a guy I like talking to when we run into each other. We connect easily and have known each other for a long time, and we seem to understand one another.

Of course, it depends on how we define “love.” Unfortunately, our concept of love is often limited by the idea of being “in love” with another person, with butterflies in our stomachs and a compulsive need to be with them. But that hearts-and-roses version of love falls short of what it means to truly love another.

of another person is essential to your own.” That definition seems to fit many of our close relationships, and I suspect most of us would like to be loved in that way.seems to come from the same place: “The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing … another’sgrowth.” Both of these expressions of love describe an overarching care for another person—wanting the best for them and being willing to do something to make their life better.

Love isn’t limited to the helping professions, either. Any work can be offered up with love: mopping a floor, preparing food, driving a truck. Love is even expressed between strangers—obvious examples include letting another driver go in front of you, offering a parent your seat on a train so they can sit with their child, yelling to the driver to wait for someone running to catch the bus, even donating a kidney to someone you’ve never met.

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