People who have a trauma background may discover more cracks in their psychological foundation during their 30s and 40s. Here’s why.
If you come from a relational trauma background, these decades can feel even harder.“Why does life feel so much harder in the 30s and 40s?”
I’ve heard some iteration of this question nearly 100 times since becoming a therapist, and I have some ideas about why this statement feels so true for so many of us.Being alive in a mortal body, loving other people in mortal bodies, all the while making our way in a world that requires money to pay bills and so on and so forth isn’t really easy for most.
But I do want to suggest that life might be harder still for a particular segment of the population: those of us who come from relational trauma backgrounds.Imagine this: If life is a proverbial house, built upon a proverbial foundation, those of us who come from relational trauma backgrounds nearly always have cracks in our proverbial foundations that others who come from non-trauma backgrounds do not have at all .
And cracks in a proverbial foundation can make the proverbial house less sound, less stable, and more difficult to live in .Relational trauma backgrounds often yield cracks in the proverbial foundation of life What does it mean to come from a relational trauma background? A relational trauma background, as I define it, is trauma that results over the course of time in the context of a power-imbalanced and dysfunctional relationship that results in a host of complex and lingering biopsychosocial impacts for the individual who endured the trauma.Maladaptive beliefs about yourself, others, and the world around you.
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