If there’s a silver lining in this pandemic, it’s that spending more time together is an opportunity to practice self-control and experience new ways to play more contentedly together. That doesn't mean your kids know how to get along. Here's how to help.
All children need four things: your ear, your empathy, your acknowledgment, and special time alone with you. This is how they feel supported and valued by the family.quarantine-related uncertainty
Neurotypical children endure a lot of disruption and are often sad and frustrated by family conflict. In response, they may minimize their own needs and feelings. Like good soldiers, they go out of their way to avoid adding more stress to the family. For these kids, helping makes them feel important and competent.
Ambivalence is part of the ADHD experience. Acknowledge it and explain that mixed feelings are understandable — it’s possible to feel both love and anger toward the same person. It’s also possible to make room for both feelings. Tell them you know they love their sibling with ADHD, but that doesn’t make it any easier to understand or tolerate behavior that makes them angry or hurts them.can minimize bad feelings. Every day or two, check in with your neurotypical child.
Suggest some collaborative, rather than competitive, activities they can participate in together such as baking or working on aIf they do decide to engage in play that may be challenging, anticipate sticky moments in advance and troubleshoot resolutions with each child. You can say for example, “If you play basketball with your brother, what will lead to an argument?”
The thinking brain thinks before it responds. Instead of being impulsive and hitting to show your anger, the thinking brain says, “I’m really angry that you came into my room/took the remote without asking/always have to win…” Anger that’s handled in that way will be heard. The goal, your child should know, is to manage the conflict before it becomes a fight. They can do this by expressing feelings without becoming those feelings.
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