When Parents Need Care, Sibling Relationships Face New Challenges

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When Parents Need Care, Sibling Relationships Face New Challenges
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“Why is this on me? Where’s the help?” Conflicts arise over care duties, finances and decision-making, with siblings debating what is best for mom or dad

The stress of caring for aging parents often causes resentments and strain among brothers and sisters

The middle sister, Natalie Elliott Handy, worried about how it would affect Emilie, who is 44, because it would tie her down. “I thought it was a terrible idea,” she says. Once the decision was made, Natalie, 47, who lives in Virginia and handles their mom’s insurance and medical paperwork, pledged her support.

The stresses can build and lead to unexpected disagreements. When Emilie recently texted her sisters asking for their mother’s banana-pudding recipe, the request spiraled into an argument. Even siblings whose bonds remained strong say caring for a parent can overshadow their own relationship.What has helped you to manage sibling relationships through difficult periods? Join the conversation below.

Sisters Rachelle Flowers, left, and Sherri McCormick-Smith split duties while caring for their parents.“What we realize now is that we have to reconnect as sisters,” says Sherri. The two are going to Asheville, N.C., this month for a few days of spas and farm-to-table dinners.Glenna Crooks, of the Philadelphia area, and her brother, Jim Crooks, of Summerfield, Fla., both in their early 70s, drifted apart as adults.

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