While I love my boys with a depth and passion I didn’t know was possible before I became a parent, I would never be a stay-at-home mom.
Like many working parents, I spent the months before my baby’s birth agonizing over what I would do for childcare. There was no doubt in my mind—or my bank account—that I would return to the office when myended after only seven short weeks. But I still worried about finding a childcare situation where my son would feel safe and loved and be shown the tenderness and attention I knew he would need to grow and learn.
He explained that a teacher at his school was pregnant and that she was going to stop coming to school and stay at home after her baby was born. “She said that raising babies is the most important work,” he said. Ouch. As I carefully considered how I should respond to my son, I ran through the ideas I felt I needed to convey: that women and men are equally qualified to care for children and to work outside the home, that people work for all sorts of different reasons, that no one has the right to judge another family’s decision and that, while I love my sons with a depth and passion I didn’t know was possible before I became a parent, I would never choose to be a stay-at-home mom.
. When the resentment crept in, unkind ideas about what it is to be a stay-at-home mother were likely to follow.My son, still young now, doesn’t know any stay-at-home mothers . I work. My sisters work. My mother works. The mothers of all of my boy’s friends and classmates work, too.
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