Does the situation of your friend dating someone you don't like need to be the nail in the coffin of an otherwise fantastic bond?
, gave advice for how to approach the situation with your friend and do everything you can to protect your relationship with them.First and foremost, know that it’s normal for friendships to go through conflict—and not liking your person's person definitely constitutes a conflict. To keep the quality of the friendship in tip-top shape, it's important to work through those with just as much intention and attention as you would with romantic relationships.
“People are so afraid of acknowledging conflict in friendship,” says Dr. Franco, adding that folks too often assume a friendship will be over when they need to broach a tricky topic—like, ahem, if a friend is dating someone you don’t like. This assumption, she says, is largely misplaced, as conflict is normal and conflict resolution may even facilitate growth. “Ruptures are part of intimacy in friendship—as they are in romantic relationships, as they are in family relationships,” Dr.
This way you're signaling that you're coming from a place of love for them, so there's no need for them to jump to the defensive. “That sits really differently than being like, ‘You've been ignoring me,’ [which comes off as] attacking,” says Dr. Franco. And since friendship is two-sided, it’s integral for you to also consider your friend’s needs and how those needs might have changed since they started up with their partner. So, ask them what their friendship needs are so you can assess whether or not you can meet them. Once you both establish what your friendship needs are, you can find an overlap and figure out what’ll be an appropriate compromise for all parties involved.
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