This is not a children's movie. This is a massacre.
But that's not why we're here today. No, we're here to focus on the part of the movie that's truly disturbing: the fact that this little boy, Kevin, exacts a biblical level of pain and suffering that, quite frankly, would be more appropriate in a snuff film than a children's film. This is some seriously sick shit.Kevin begins his rampage by whippin' a huge-ass brick off a SIX STORY BUILDING and somehow hitting the dude below with PINPOINT accuracy.
Joe Pesci then begins his assault on the apartment by hopping onto a fire escape ladder and proceeding to fall onto his back.How can you even walk after that fall? Your back would be in pieces. Reeses freakin' pieces! Look at that hang-time! Big Joe is in the air for like four seconds! He's like the Michael Jordan of breaking his spine. My man could go D1 in shattering vertebrae.
A sack of flour then falls on Marv's Colorado-Rockies-relief-pitcher-lookin'-ass, dying his hair white.This isn't even that wild. Just a waste of perfectly good flour.
The Bible tells us the story of Daniel, a Babylonian man who is thrown into the lion's den for violating the law and worshipping God. While Daniel is inside the den, an angel comes to him and shuts the mouths of the lions, saving Daniel from almost certain death. In a way, Home Alone II is a lot like the story of Daniel except instead of Daniel and a lion's den, it's Joe Pesci and a gigantic fuckin' explosion in an Upper West Side apartment building.
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