Unloving Mothers: When Food and Meals Are a Battleground

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Unloving Mothers: When Food and Meals Are a Battleground
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Food can be a symbol of love and nurturing—but it can become something entirely different in a dysfunctional family. Here's how.

While it's generally true that shared mealtimes are beneficial to children's thriving, there are real exceptions to the rule.

A 2016 study showed that 70 percent of women cooked, whether married or single, compared to 46 percent of men. Not surprisingly, women with children spent more time cooking and serving prepared food. My mother’s way of using food was subtle and deliberate. If you’d pleased her, the menu would include something you loved to eat which basically meant that we ate hamburgers often since they were my brother Tom’s favorite and he was her boy-who-could-do-no-wrong.

In an interview some years ago, Joanne recounted how her mother used food to underscore how unimportant she was:

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