Unfortunately, the Food Brands Have Discovered Astrology

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Unfortunately, the Food Brands Have Discovered Astrology
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Fast-food chains are getting in on the cosmic arts, so the cosmos are over now

for a “McDonald’s-inspired tarot reading,” which I can only hope means the Ten of Hamburglars tells me it’s time to release my burdens to him. A live reading starts at 6 p.m. ET on May 10., a different one for each of the four occurrences this year; this time it’s offering a free chicken cheddar roller with any $3 purchase on its app.

, one each for the 12 signs of the zodiac. For instance, “​​Aquarians are clever, unique, glass-is-half-full individuals who add a breath of fresh air to any situation,” which is why they’ve been assigned the watermelon and shaved ricotta salata with mint salad. And a chopped tahini-Caesar salad with grilled chicken appeals to “harmony and balance-seeking Librans.” Dole does not say what will happen if you attempt to eat a salad not assigned by a marketing department to your sun sign.

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