'Knowing my boys will likely fall more often in life than their neurotypical peers, I teach curiosity as a healthier and more productive alternative to shame — as a way to keep learning with an open mind and an open heart.'
As a father of three boys with ADHD, one of my highest priorities is modeling how to accomplish your life’s goals while managing ADHD challenges — and never making excuses. I follow one simple rule: I won’t ask my kids to try a strategy that I haven’t tried, successfully, first.
— how and why we do what we do — helps them approach a fall or setback with resilience and understanding. I believe it’s key to developing the mindset of welcoming and learning from life’s difficulties with humility and gratitude.Many people with ADHD are accustomed to receiving a constant stream of negative feedback. It’s demoralizing and makes them scared to ask for help.
So I use indirect instruction as a sneaky way to teach them something without risking more shame. Modeling curiosity is a great way to achieve this. Parents enjoy showing off what they know. Curiosity leverages this.If you don’t, try responding like this: “ When you are curious, you also model self-advocacy — speaking up for what you need, without shame. The key is this: Celebrate an enthusiasm for discovery over having all the answers.. The willingness of an adult to be vulnerable, to risk being brushed off, or to risk being criticized can appear heroic.
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