'Folks are telling us we’re making this stuff up — we’re hiding behind med-happy pharmaceutical companies & complicit doctors because we don’t have the will to enforce old-fashioned hard work values on our kids or ourselves. This really gets on my nerves.'
It’s last week — no, the week before, and it had been building since the week before that, and I have a therapist appointment the next day which is good timing because thick dark water is swirling around me getting higher, darker, and thicker by the minute. It’s right up under my chin, licking at my lips, slipping up and up and I can’t get away from it. It’s inside and out — sucking me down — my own personal Drowning Pool of certain failure.
I’m sure you’ve all seen the ads popping up announcing simple and/or instant attention deficit disorder cures. This kinda gets on my nerves after a while. Do these people really think we haven’t educated ourselves on what’s actually going on in our, chemically, and that we know that there’s no cure — there’s work, acceptance, knowledge, medicine, love and faith, but no cure for ADHD. We don’t want to cure who we are, for god’s sake. We want to be able to handle it better.
Then, there are the articles arguing that ADHD doesn’t exist at all. That attention deficit disorder was made up to trick parents to drug their spoiled kids or as a way for sneaky teens and adults to cop speed scrips. These folks are out there telling us that we’re making this stuff up — that we’re hiding behind med-happy pharmaceutical companies and complicit doctors because we don’t have the will to enforce old-fashioned hard work values on our kids or ourselves.
When my brain goes down here — and it’s sneaky, slippery quick — my life, which, objectively, is just fine, disintegrates into a foul soup of problems I’ll never be able to solve because I can’t sort any of them out.
I made it out of that particular panic pool without embarrassing myself — too much, anyway. I got it together enough to solve another problem that day. I rescheduled with my therapist, and tomorrow we’ll do some work on this, and maybe have a few laughs.
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