Though stealthing is widely considered a form of sexual assault, the law’s failure to clearly name and cover stealthing allows it to remain not only ambiguous but unlikely to be punishable: “A lot of victims themselves are not aware that they are victims”
Photo: John Slater/Getty Images Diana didn’t know what stealthing was when it happened to her. Before having sex with her boyfriend, she’d watched him put a condom on. After they finished, she found the open, unused condom stashed within the bedsheets. He didn’t deny removing it when Diana asked what happened. It was no big deal, he insisted. Diana says she was inexperienced and deferential back then — she was 20 years old when the incident took place — so she believed him.
In 2017, the civil-rights lawyer Alexandra Brodsky, then a student at Yale Law School, published what is regarded as a tide-turning paper in The Columbia Journal of Gender and Law. Brodsky, calling stealthing “rape-adjacent,” defined the act as “nonconsensual condom removal during sexual intercourse,” noting that stealthing ”can be understood to transform consensual sex into nonconsensual sex … ” because permission has not been granted to forego previously agreed upon protection.
“Some men may not realize the gravity of what they’re doing, and to them this bill could be a deterrent,” Diana says. “But some men know exactly what they’re doing.
And recourse, for survivors, is not easily found. Rachel says that when it happened to her, the man she was sleeping with, who was behind her, briefly paused to make it seem like he was putting a condom on. When she tried to talk to him about it, he threatened to tarnish her reputation using his industry connections. “That more than anything is what made it a traumatizing experience,” says Rachel, “the powerlessness … I couldn’t even warn other women.
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