Tim Dowling: I found a secret loft in our house. Foolishly, I also told my wife about it …

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Tim Dowling: I found a secret loft in our house. Foolishly, I also told my wife about it …
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The new mystery room has rekindled her craving for more storage space

ur house contains a secret mystery room I didn’t even know was there until almost a year after we moved in. One day I was sitting alone in the garden looking up at the little round window near the peak of the back roof, when it occurred to me that I had never seen the view out of that window.

After a while it became clear – sort of – that the window belonged to a little loft above the oldest one’s bedroom, although there was no access to it: the ceiling of the bedroom below is completely plastered over. “I’m going to have a big cupboard here,” she says, spreading her arms along a section of kitchen wall.“There’s already a cupboard there,” I say. “Aren’t we looking right at it?”“Won’t it block the door?” I say.“I’m just worried it will make the space seem smaller,” I say.“I suggest we throw away half our stuff,” I say.“If it prevents this cupboard, I will consider it,” I say.

“Seriously,” I say. “When they’re gone we’ll only need, like, a frying pan and two forks. We can share a mug.”My wife’s plans also include moving us into the oldest one’s former bedroom, which was instantly colonised by the middle one when the oldest one moved out, and will probably be commandeered by the youngest one eventually.

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