Some users say dating apps like Positive Singles, which is geared toward people with herpes, offer community, while STI advocates say they unfairly perpetuate stigma.
, also have premiums in the same pricing ballpark, but they don’t require payment in order to chat.
It’s easy to feel trapped in the confines of the virus. Gwen, 35, only went on one date from Positive Singles. She thought he seemed like a successful kind of guy, but he was uneasy with his diagnosis. “And I guess he felt embarrassed, or he felt guilty that he didn't want to give it to anybody else,” she said. “I wasn't really into him.”
While swiping, she got a wink from an acquaintance she knew from the local comedy scene. Though it went against her rule of not dating other comedians, they set up a date, and Maglione felt a connection. He was the only person she met up with IRL from the app; they are now engaged. “It's helped me realize herpes is not a deal breaker,” she said.
Dancel, the sex therapist, said an STI-specific dating platform has the potential to help those who are unable to escape the “damning and negative feelings associated with being diagnosed,” and ideally find an empathetic community where they can free themselves of societal shame. “But it may limit opportunities for growth and acceptance from the non-status community,” she said.
Maglione is also still active on Positive Singles because she and her fiancé are nonmonogamous. “And even now, on my regular dating profile that’s not STI-specific, I just straight up put HSV 1/2+,” she said. “And so does my fiancé. And people still message me. We’ve gone on dates. That’s huge for me.”
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