As Iranian girls rise up against the iron rule of the Islamic Republic, seven women – from a boxer to a politician – talk about why they had to flee their homeland
‘In a moment of solidarity, all fear fades’, in a dissident family. My parents met through their political struggle, fighting for democracy in the Shah’s time. My father was arrested again and again. As a child, I would visit him in prison. And at home there were always political meetings with my parents’ comrades, who were like family to me.
I have been living in Germany for more than 30 years as an artist, activist and art professor. Every artist draws from their lived experience. Repression and violation of human rights is not an exclusively Iranian phenomenon. It is simply a human condition. But every act of resistance is a spark of hope. In my work I use the image of a butterfly. It is a magical creature, as thin as paper, with so many patterns.
If I went back to Iran now, they would kill me because they are against girls, especially girls who speak out Through illegal videotapes I heard about Michael Jackson and Madonna, and I wanted to be like them. I started dancing at home, and writing, but when I got to school I found you couldn’t write everything you’d like to write. I kept my writing to myself for years.
My father died in 2017, when the nationwide protests began. He and my mother had only been able to visit me once in Germany. I couldn’t be at the funeral service. I think the day I lost my father was the day I truly realised what the Islamic Republic is. What exile is. One day my coach said to me: “You play really well, but if you want to be more of a warrior, try boxing.” I used to play basketball with men in the park. So in 2016 I asked a boxing coach to come there and give me some lessons. But two or three times we were disturbed by the police: “What is this? Why are you doing this?” I was wearing a coat and a veil, but the problem for them wasn’t my appearance – it was the fact that I was boxing.
In Iran I wore the veil out of respect for the rules. In France you are not allowed to display religious symbols in sport. So I respected the rules of the French boxing federation by not wearing the veil. I won the fight, and three days later I was on the way back to Iran when my coach got a call from someone he knew in the government, warning him that if he came home there would be threats against him, and it would be risky for me, too.
My parents got divorced when I was five and my sister was six and a half. It was very traumatic. My father was an alcoholic and incapable of taking care of the family. And at some point my mother, who had been fighting depression all her life, just couldn’t take it any more. I remember that day: I went to school and my hair was a little bit out of my scarf at the front. And the woman at the door said I couldn’t go in. I had to cover my hair properly. Then she said: “What happened to your white sneakers?” Because they looked terrible after colouring. They used them as an example to everyone else: look, she coloured her sneakers black. You all have to do that.
I don’t want my son to grow up without his mum, so as long as this regime is in power in Iran, I don’t see myself going back. But I feel guilty. On my Instagram page I don’t post anything personal: it’s all about Iran, anything to amplify my sisters’ and brothers’ voices. When I was 12 I started to go to chess tournaments and became a women’s champion in my country for my age group. International tournaments were a shock for me because I was quite a religious girl. I was brainwashed at school. When I started to travel to other countries I saw women without the hijab. I saw freedom. They used to tell us: “If you behave like that, you are going to hell.” There were lots of conversations with my best friends, other chess players my age.
I decided to send them a message. The next day, I pushed my scarf back even more. I had no idea how this decision was going to change my life. Within a few days, the Iranian media were reporting that I was protesting against mandatory hijab. The president of the federation was saying: “She has nothing to do with us”, trying to save themselves and making me a pariah. And privately he was sending messages asking me to write an apology letter, to post it on my Instagram.
One of our activists has compared the hijab to the Berlin Wall. If it collapses, the regime is going to collapse as well. This is their red line. But it’s not just about the hijab. We are fighting for human rights, for women’s rights. I think it is clear to each and every Iranian that the people are going to win this. That’s why we call it a revolution. The regime is delaying the process by killing innocent people, but they cannot stop it.‘As a woman, you cannot laugh loudly. You cannot dance.
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