SexDiaries: 'I don’t know why it’s so awkward for me — I can ask a guy to tie me up, but I can’t navigate the first-date kiss?'
Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher This week, a newly adventurous woman hooking up with various men from Feeld — and telling all her friends about it after: 29, single, Los Angeles.7:05 a.m. I wake up to a text that says, “You are very sexy,” from O, who I met a few months ago on Feeld. He knows I love praise. I’m turned on and still in bed, so I take out my vibrator for a quick orgasm.
11:50 p.m. I’m finally back home. A didn’t do anything wrong, but trying to hold a conversation with him was like was pulling teeth. I swipe on a few dating apps in bed to remind myself that there are other guys out there before falling asleep.10 a.m. I go to a boxing class in the morning, and drive past my ex’s house on the way home, which reminds me to text him to confirm that he can watch my cat while I’m out of town.
5:15 p.m. F picks me up, and we get an early dinner before seeing Licorice Pizza. I had a ton of fun at dinner catching up about the last few years, talking about music, and work. We were cutting it close for the movie, and he decided to valet because he was getting nervous about being late. I’m not sure why, but I found his anxiety endearing.
7 p.m. I head to my friend P’s apartment in Silver Lake. We’ve known each other since high school, but lost touch until she moved to L.A. recently for a job. We talk about how even though our all-girls high school had very progressive sex ed, we still have so much internalized shame around sex.10 a.m. Still texting A. Not making plans though; it just so happens that he’s been to the small town in Mexico that I’m going to with friends in a few weeks.
12:30 p.m. Get to O’s, and he immediately starts kissing me. I know it’s rather PG, but I love a good make out. We move to his bedroom and he goes down on me. He gives great head and loves doing it, which I obviously love, too. When we first hooked up, he told me he doesn’t usually like getting blowjobs and having all the attention on him, but he clearly likes when I do it.
2:30 p.m. One of the pluses of working remotely and on a different time zone than my team is that my afternoons are flexible, and I can use them however I please. Right now, that means I take a break to masturbate often. It’s a real stress-reliever for me.
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