Aaron Donald thought he was speaking to an audience of one when he mentioned the possibility of retirement. The story hung over a whirlwind celebration of Super Bowl LVI. Donald reveals to GregBishopSI why he’s considering walking away, and much more
This isn’t a subject that Donald wades into often, certainly not publicly. He told reporters what he told himself at the parade. He wanted to stay in the moment, enjoy the celebration. But he left out how problematic his reality had become. The same thoughts had weighed on him every day throughout the past three seasons. He even told teammates two years ago that perhaps he would step away after Year 8—the one that ended with his meaty hands raising the Lombardi Trophy toward the sky.
Donald leaned on Erica throughout that summer, talking through his feelings, searching for solutions. A football force who demolishes triple teams no longer felt that indestructible. He called Jaeda and A.J. constantly and flew back east for regular visits, grateful the Rams made concessions for his schedule, freeing up the necessary time. But it wasn’t the same. “If it wasn’t for [Erica],” he says, “I don’t know where I would be mentally.
Most signs point in the same direction, toward another season. But they were what others saw, not how Donald himself felt. Donald tried to push his internal conflict further out. He met with coaches and teammates to explain his thought process, the heft of his decision and why he remained torn. He believed they had been “destined to win the Super Bowl.” But as much as he loved them, he loved his children more. He wanted to be honest. And, honestly, he wasn’t sure.
He made another visit to McVay’s office the next offseason, when contract negotiations stalled once more. To his wunderkind coach, he said, “As long as you are here, I want to be part of your legacy with you. I want to play for you.” He cried on the sideline. And in the shower. And the locker room. And on the flight home. He cried in the days and weeks that followed, more tears than in the rest of his life combined. A title meant that much to him, and only he knew the depth of what he had missed in his pursuit. During the season, he sometimes saw his children as little as three times a month.
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