There's a brewing rebellion against the dominant mode of posting.
on the What to Expect message boards, one user complained that the tone of her “bumper” group was so negative that she was going to leave: “FOR F**KS SAKE the women in the October 2022 group are all very doom and gloom. don’t get me wrong I know everyone has their own back stories and worries but I’m about to leave the group.” The responses echo her sentiment: “I’m in the September 2022 group and…just wow,” wrote one person.
These discussions are careful. They’re trying—very hard, in some cases—to draw fine distinctions between the kinds of negative posts that help and the sorts that don’t. “I think that problem is that most people don’t realize there is a difference between sharing about miscarriages to help others who are going through it also and then making posts that just scare the *** out of you,” one user said. “We need more people to speak up about pregnancy loss, we just don’t need people creating fear.
And so parents-to-be are desperately seeking a middle ground that will let them register and discussprivate joy despite material conditions that promote stress and burnout and injury and exhaustion. It can all start to feel paradoxical.
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