Everything you need to know about the RAIN method to help you practice more self-compassion.
Like many therapeutic tools, there are many uses of the various iterations of the RAIN meditation, whether you’re using it to battle negative self-talk or calm. In general, though, most versions of RAIN are based on mindfulness, which basically means it’s about taking the time to pause and pay attention to what you’re experiencing. In this case, certain thoughts or emotions.
For the purposes of this article, I’m talking about how I learned RAIN from my therapist: as a mindful self-compassion tool.: The first step here is about getting in the habit of putting words to thoughts and feelings as they’re happening. That could be anything from “Ah, I’m worrying that myhate me because they ignored my contribution in the group chat” to “Oh, I’m feeling like a failure after getting feedback on that presentation.
. That’s because it’s so damn important to remind yourself. Too often, we focus on what our thoughts and feelingsfeeling angry because we don’t want to be an Angry Person. Or we feel insecure and self-hating and we rationalize that those feelings be true or that we must deserve them. The non-identification step helps us start to untangle our feelings and thoughts from our sense of self-worth and identity—and start making it easy to reach compassionate conclusions.
You’re such a bad friend. Why are you making this about you? Can’t you just be happy for her? This is exactly why you’re single. You’re a rotten person who deserves to die alone. After that, I would probably spend the next therapy session ranting about how I’m a cranky monster who’s incapable of feeling happy for other people. Right on cue, my therapist would be like, “You’re not being very kind to yourself,” and I would be like, “I’m just beingAnd you wonder why my therapist loved to tell me to just please, god, try RAIN.
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