Asking 'why' is often a reflex we have when analyzing a problem. But asking 'how' can actually help us find solutions to that problem and move forward.
“The child is father of the man,” wrote William Wordsworth back in 1802. A century and a half later, The Beach Boys paid homage to Wordsworth in awith the same title. From a 21st century perspective, we would prefer them to have said, “The child is parent to the adult,” but let’s be forgiving and assume that both were looking for something that scanned easily rather than being consciously gender exclusive.
The rub is that many of the verbal instincts and reflexes that we pick up as children actually undermine our effectiveness when we grow up and apply those same instincts as managers. They can lead us into having conversations which are entirely “back-to-front” — those that take us in the opposite direction to the one in which we wish to go.
Or perhaps not. The meticulous observation and analysis of verbal behaviors in meetings and conversations undertaken over many years by my colleagues at Interactifs have found this instinct to be counter-productive — and we’ve have figured out a quicker, more effective way of addressing the issue. You: “Hmmm…. I’m obviously disappointed to hear that. I think I can do the job. How can I provide evidence to demonstrate that I am ready for this promotion?”
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