Stop asking 'how are you?' Harvard researchers say this is how successful people make small talk. via CNBCMakeIt
"What's your current state of mind?""You remind me of a celebrity, but I can't remember which one — who's someone you relate to?"The fallback for a lot of people is like the newscast "hourly update" — traffic, sports, weather and so on.
Drill this into your head: It is a horrible icebreaker. There are a few exceptions, like if it's a genuine interest of yours and your boss or colleague shares that passion. But try to move beyond those cliché topics to things that are more important and personal to you.Open your eyes before you open your mouth.
If you're new to a company and leading a team, for example, start your first meeting by going around the room and asking each person to say one interesting thing that recently happened in their lives. As a result of that momentary sharing, you've allowed everyone to feel more personally and genuinely connected with each other.
The objective to is be genuine and not simply make something up. Otherwise, you run the risk of not knowing how to answer follow-up questions about something you have little or no experience with.If you wait, two things will probably happen: One, someone else will make the comment you wanted to make and, two, your more talkative colleagues will take over with their own follow-up questions. You'll get lost in the cross-talk and miss your chance.
In person, look at the other person when you speak, not at the conference table or the wall. On the phone, smile — it will make your voice sound warmer. It's not just what you say, but how you say it, that will help others connect with you.
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