Gentle, moralizing bullying on the rise. Here's how you can tell if you're being bullied by it before it's too late.
Gentle bullies moralize to get what they want, playing victim, blaming. and shaming.Look for signs that they act like your errors prove their perfection.
Since people with more yin characteristics aren’t hulking and loud, their strategies are different. They don’t threaten with loud voices and flexed biceps. Their strategy of choice is pulling moral rank,, and blaming. It can be very effective. Many hulking men grew up trying to please their mothers. Many mothers learned to control their unruly boys with disappointment, shaming, and disapproval. Yintimidation taps into that vulnerability to shaming.
Men are softening, too, but, in general, women are competing for men’s roles more than men are competing with women’s. How can gentler souls compete? Not by bulking up but by doubling down on the moralizing. How can you tell whether someone is yintimidating you? Here are some possible signs that someone is moralizing, playing victim, pulling moral rank on you like you’re a sinner, which proves they’re a saint:Shaming you works best from a posture of pure, innocent virtue. Yintimidators will try to bully you into taking their word for their virtue. They’ll declare their virtue, which is easy for any of us to do. You are morally obligated to let your guard down; if you don’t, you’re bad.
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