Here's how to tell if it's a bad patch, emotional neglect or something worse.
Elliot D. Cohen, Ph.D., therapist, and president of the Logic-Based Therapy and Consultation Institue, emotional support is a fundamental pillar of marriage. However, there are varying degrees to which one spouse withholds this critical engagement. And Cohen stresses these feelings are “contextually relative” depending on the disposition of the couple and the individual situations. In other words, one couple’s unhappy marriage is another couple’s bliss.
However, suppose one partner feels like their reasonable needs aren’t being met and they are left without a functioning support system. In that case, there could likely be a more severe issue of emotional neglect at play. Emotional neglect is toxic and involves one partner who cannot — or will not — provide essential and fundamental emotional support as a habit.
“A life partner who occasionally acts in emotionally neglectful ways is not necessarily emotionally neglectful, even though he or she may have acted as such on certain occasions,” Cohen explains, adding, “Only when such actions rise to the level of a disposition or habit can one properly be called emotionally neglectful.”Emotional neglect is different from emotional abuse because it’s about a spouse’s invisible behavior, making it difficult to spot right away.
Emotional neglect isn’t a fixed definition, but generally speaking, it’s when neglect becomes a chronic habit within the relationship it rises to the level of emotional neglect.Talking with your partner might reveal surprising details about how they feel and might help you appreciate their point of view. “Chances are, if you’re feeling lonely, the other person is feeling lonely too,” Dardashti said.Identifying the issue is a big first step, experts say.Next, talk to your partner.
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