The waiter forgot their drink orders, never returned for refills and only checked in once before dropping off the check.
Around 99% of the time, I leave a cash tip for our server. I am the only one in our family who ever waited tables or even worked food service. Because of this, I tend to be generous with tipping, but if it’s really bad, I have left between 10% and 15%.
I’m just back from vacation and I was fortunate to eat in quite a few nice restaurants, and I would have given extra if the server had approached our table only once during my meal to ask, “How is everything?” Even the most helpful waiters and waitresses tend to interrupt multiple times during a meal. It can be hard to chew your food in peace or keep a conversation going. I much prefer servers who keep a respectful distance, but always keep their eyes and ears open.
Given that you were unhappy with this man’s service, 30% seems excessive. But forgetting a drinks order and a refill don’t seem serious enough to me to reduce his tip. I agree with your wife: Tip 20% unless something truly egregious happens. But if the waiter/waitress has a nice, friendly demeanor and smiles, and makes me feel welcome, I will always tip 20%. That’s the hallmark of good service in my book. I can roll with honest mistakes and a forgetful moment or two.
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