Am I enabling my mother's behavior by helping her get out of her debt? How much should I support my mother, Moneyist?
My 53-year-old mother feels very financially responsible for her maternal family that continues to reside in our native Caribbean country. She brought me and my brother to this country two decades ago, and has since worked endlessly to provide for us.
I don’t want to make her feel like I’m disrespecting her, but I am very concerned about her spending on our family. She says that she is investing for her retirement through her work, but I have no idea how much she has saved, or if this will be enough. There is a cultural aspect to your mother’s generosity. This study by the Inter-American Development Bank on remittances from the U.S. to Latin America and the Caribbean found that over half send money at least monthly, “most often to their parents , and mostly for regular household consumption .”
“Your mother is painfully aware that the earning power in the U.S. is far greater than in her home country, and she may see it as part of her familial and civic duty to send money home.” Your mother is painfully aware that the earning power in the U.S. is far greater than in her home country and she may see it as part of her familial and civic duty to send money home, but she still needs to find the language to say no to people: “I’m saving for retirement and I need to take care of bills of my own.” Or, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.” Or, “No, it’s not possible.” Or, simply and finally, “No.
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