This idea encourages you to ditch punishments and rewards in favor of unconditional parenting. Read the how-to.
How Do You Discipline an ADHD Teen’s Bad Behavior?
You might be relying on rewards and punishments to reinforce the behavior you want to see more more of and discourage anything you consider to be unacceptable. You praise your teen for positive choices and scold him for negative ones., and may even “work” on some level.
Instead, says Kohn, we should want to unconditionally parent, and ask, “What do our kids need, and how can we meet those needs?” We should work with our children to help them get there, rather than try to force them to be and act in certain ways.I read Kohn’s book when my son was in third grade, and it was a game changer. I recognized that my quest for “good behavior” was about my own need to feel like a successful parent. I wanted my son to reflect my own good values and choices.
Every child benefits from unconditional parenting, and it’s an especially critical reframe to make with differently wired teens, many of whom have had behavioral management systems in place since they were little. By prioritizing compliance, we inadvertently bring up teens who don’t trust their own judgment.
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