Praise is especially important for children who have ADHD because they typically get so little of it. They get correction, remediation, and complaints about their behavior. They undergo testing, and are expected to feel grateful for constructive criticism.
When a child with attention deficit disorder receives a drop or two of praise, it’s like rain in the desert. He drinks it in, revels in it. It’s important for parents, teachers, and coaches to set up a child with ADHD to do something right, something well, something praiseworthy. Giving your child words of praise is like offering him a ticket out of the fear and self-doubt that plague him.
I’ll never forget what Coach Fitts said next. “No, Ned, you’re wrong. I think you’re the best player for that position. If I make you play it, maybe you’ll believe it, too.”For a moment, I saw a new me, someone I had always wished to be. Revved up by Coach Fitts’s words, fired up by a determination not to let my teammates down, and psyched up by a new vision of what I could do, I went into the game a new player.
I did, and I still do. Being a parent is a lot like being a coach. You look for times when encouragement can open a door in a child’s life, as Coach Fitts did for me.— the kind that is transformative rather than simply pleasant — is placement. If you applaud everything your child does, your praise sounds phony and loses its power. If, however, you withhold acclaim for only those occasional 24-karat moments, you may lose the chance to draw out more from a child than he knew he had in him.
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