Pete Buttigieg Fails Third Consecutive Driver’s Test

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Pete Buttigieg Fails Third Consecutive Driver’s Test
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WASHINGTON—Insisting that he had done nearly everything right this time, Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg reportedly failed his third consecutive driver’s test Monday. “It’s kind of bullshit, because it was really only the parallel parking part that I screwed up,” said Buttigieg, describing how he always…

WASHINGTON—Insisting that he had done nearly everything right this time, Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg reportedly failed his third consecutive driver’s test Monday. “It’s kind of bullshit, because it was really only the parallel parking part that I screwed up,” said Buttigieg, describing how he always began to freeze up and panic during that section of the exam as he tried to remember exactly how to locate ten and two o’clock on the wheel.

He said I rolled through a stop sign, and that’s not true. He’s just a jerk. I also barely grazed that car. It’s insane that he gets to administer these things, because he’s obviously blind. Goddammit, now I have to go back to the Department of Transportation and stare everyone down. They all act like big shots because they got their licenses.

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