Perspective: I’m not passing my parents’ religion on to my kids, but I am teaching their values
Many people take issue with this parenting decision — especially the people I know from my days as a devout, practicing Catholic. Most of the judgment comes through passive-aggressive comments. Some folks, though, have no problem telling me to my face what a great disservice I’m doing my children. One woman actually told me my children would likely go to hell because of my choice. She didn’t say it maliciously.
These days, the argument with my mom has shifted slightly. “It doesn’t have to be Catholic, Jar, but you need to have Emma and Jake baptized in some type of faith. They need a foundation. They gotta have something,” my mom will say, pivoting the conversation away from whatever mundane subject we’re discussing and directly into the choppy waters of the battle for my children’s souls.
If my wife and I end up raising our children agnostic, which I’m sure is right up there on my mom’s list of top fears with the show “Homicide Hunter” being canceled, we have no intention of not talking about God and religion and faith. We want our kids to have a solid understanding of all religions. Just as importantly, we want them to have respect for what others believe.
So for now the plan is to expose our children to everything, spiritually speaking, to honestly answer any questions they may have about God and religion, and to let them choose for themselves. It’s not a perfect strategy for helping my children tackle the many existential crises they’ll no doubt face, but it’s the best one we have at the moment.
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