'Attending pride with them as allies as a family did not make my son trans. It made my son trans and alive. It made him trans and still feeling loved and accepted.'
, we reached out to parents of trans and nonbinary youth to hear what advice they had for other parents experiencing the same thing.Note: Answers have been edited for length and clarity."Talk to their teachers! I am a parent and teacher and dead names/preferred names and pronouns are not always obvious or understood. For most kids, these non-preferred names are called any time they have a substitute teacher or are paged by an administrator.
I struggled a lot with my child’s use of the word ‘deadname’ to describe the birth name we chose to honor a beloved relative who has since passed. It felt hurtful and disrespectful to their memory, but those conversations were for my therapist and a friend of mine who also has a trans child. It’s okay to have feelings about changes to your child’s identity, but it’s not your child’s job to help you work through them.""Commit to getting pronouns and chosen names right.
"This is your baby, the one you gave birth to and nurtured. But this baby is also a human being in their own right and will make their own choices. You have to respect that, no matter what your own ideas are. "When their new name was chosen and told to me, I felt guilt because I was sad. The name chosen at birth was a very intimate process between their father and I. To not dead name them, I changed my most used password to a variation of their chosen one to reinforce it in me. I will forever hold their birth name with love. But I will respect and love them more always.
"We will be working with our local Pride group to call local businesses and donate all gender restroom signs to those willing to put them up. Be open and honest about wanting to get it right, but know you will make mistakes — and ask your child to tell you when you have made those mistakes. It's so difficult to see new attacks every day on the trans community. Verbal attacks are nonstop, and these bills and laws across the country that strip their rights and freedom to live as they see fit are soul-crushing. But I want every nonbinary and trans person to know that they have allies across the nation who love and support them in spirit, at the ballot box, and every way we can.""Making friends with people of all walks of life is important.
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