3 ways to stop sacrificing your own needs for the sake of pleasing other people, writes SMartinLCSW
If you’re not getting what you need in your relationships, it’s time to start asking for it. People can’t read your mind or read between the lines of your passive-aggressive comment, and you must explicitly and kindly tell them.
This, of course, will feel very strange. You’re trying to undo some long-time pattern, and it takes practice to figure out what you’re feeling and what you want. Give yourself time and practice. Journaling andWhen you start to express your needs, you may be afraid of rejection or worry that you’ll end up alone. So, start with a small request or change.
Some people may be angry when you set boundaries. But most people will adjust to reasonable limits and requests.When you start setting boundaries, you may discover that a friend or family member is only interested in what you can do for them. They aren’t interested in your feelings and needs. This can be a painful realization.
It’s not easy to distance yourself from friends, family, or lovers—even when they take advantage of you or disrespect you. And if you’re not ready to, that’s okay. Just knowing that you have choices—even if you choose not to exercises them—can free you from martyrdom and a victim mindset.
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