Op-Ed: How to disagree about sexism and racism without being a jerk (via latimesopinion )
We once hosted an event at our law school to discuss how members of advantaged social groups could be “allies” to marginalized people. As we left, a white male student ran up to us. He had a burning question he wanted to pose privately: “What if I say something, and a woman says it was sexist, but I don’t think it was. Am I allowed to disagree?”As scholars working on diversity and inclusion, we teachmembers of dominant groups how to have better conversations about identity issues.
The key is to learn how to express such disagreements without causing unnecessary harm to yourself or others. The real danger comes when the topic drifts farther to the right on the controversy scale. The most intense conversations are those in which one or both sides feel their equal humanity has been put into question.
Many people fail to take the imaginative leap of considering how their own position on the controversy scale might differ from others’. To use the controversy scale in a conversation, start by identifying where you would place a particular disagreement on the scale, then consider how your conversation partner might place it differently.
The mental exercise can still pay off if you explicitly acknowledge how your counterpart’s position might differ from your own: “To me this is a policy debate, but I see how it could be deeply personal for you, and I’ll do my best to respect that fact when sharing my views.”
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