Yelling creates a more volatile atmosphere, making the already sensory-overloaded child more overloaded.
Four years later, we adopted a fourth child, completing our family. Around this same time, one of our older kids was officially diagnosed with ADHD. I already knew something was up before the doctor rendered her verdict.
Those early years felt like an endless game of cat and mouse—and I don’t know who was the cat and who was the mouse. Occasionally, we’d have a victory, but when we tried the same technique the next day, or even the next hour, it wouldn’t work. My husband and I couldn’t seem to get on the same page, each blaming the other when yet another epic ADHD meltdown happened. We felt trapped in an endless cycle of frustration.
As we began researching ADHD and how we could help our child, we received plenty of unsolicited, misguided advice. Just give our kid a good spanking, many said. The more I researched—while ignoring all the bad advice—I began to arrive at the answer we’d been yearning for. There was something within our parental control—how we responded to our child. The reality is, ADHD isn’t going away. Therefore, we needed to stop taking the child’s refusals, like putting on their shoes or picking up their room, personally. Taking struggles to heart was only hampering our success.
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