My Tween Is Upset Because Her Peers Are Obsessed With TikTok “I’m no pearl-clutcher, but I’m also not unleashing a child into a world they aren’t ready for—a world that is, to me, for adults.”
has a cell phone, but we don’t allow social media. Her phone is used for texting, setting alarms, and listening to music. She’s been incredibly responsible with her phone. She’s really great about self-monitoring, alerting us of anything inappropriate, and following the rules. She is not the issue. We have told her, “It’s not you, it’s them”—because it’s true. “Them” being social media, strangers on the Internet, and obnoxiousI readily admit that we are fairly strict parents.
When the girls get together at school, they spend much of their time talking about their favorite TikTok videos—none of which my child has seen. Since their phones have to be put away during school hours, they can’t even show each other the videos. Instead, they just talk incessantly about them. When my tween told me this, I could envision it and empathize. Middle school is the time that almost every kid feels incredibly self-conscious and pressured to fit in.
I know, it’s 2021, and tech is a big part of most of our lives. I spend my fair share of time scrolling, watching, commenting, and sharing. However, I’m an adult with a full developed brain. I’m not nearly as impressionable as a kid in the midst of puberty. I can distinguish fact from fiction and airbrushed and authentic.
Furthermore, like many tweens, she has an interest in her appearance—though not nearly as much as some of her peers. She’s not trying to capture the perfect selfie and then spend her time filtering and editing it so she appears to be someone she isn’t. Now I don’t have an issue with a flattering angle, a cute outfit, or even makeup if that’s something she’s interested in.
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