Dear Pay Dirt: My elderly mother has always had hoarding tendencies.
My elderly mother has always had hoarding tendencies, just like her father. She overbuys when she shops and half the time lets things like vitamins/supplements get old and expire. We grew up eating the same food item for weeks and months at a time so she definitely has some sort of OCD. She stays with us for a few months every year, visiting from overseas so cue the overbuying of food, gifts, etc. She used to toss food from our fridge to fit things she brought, deeming them more valuable.
Not only does she ignore the boundaries you are trying to set while she is in your home, but she’s also disregarding you when you bring your concerns up to her. You say you already have limited contact with her when she’s not visiting, but I’m wondering what unintentionally happens when she is in town. It’s easier for us to have boundaries when family members aren’t around versus when they are.