'The more a new mom feels that you are respecting her boundaries and space, the more she is likely to trust you.'
When I was three months postpartum, my husband, our baby and I attended a birthday party at a friend's house. One of our friend's family members, whom I had never seen or met, approached us and started tugging at my baby while she lay cooing in my arms. She then held out her hands, signaling for me to pass my baby to her, declaring matter-of-factly,"I'm a registered nurse.
Dr. Merhi says this type of possessiveness is evident across nature."In the beginning, a woman might feel uncomfortable if her baby is out of her sight or being held by someone else for long periods. The baby has been inside of her womb and is now on the outside, and this can be a shock. So it's important to be patient while she adjusts," he says.Try to tame your dreams about the baby's future.
Reiterating the importance of honoring a mother's possessive instincts, the postpartum period isn't the ideal time to announce certain expectations one might have about the baby's future, especially plans that involve taking the child away from its mother's care. For example, expressing your intention to whisk the child away for long, faraway trips one day might not land well early on.
. Then, once home visits begin, she might only have the energy for narrow windows of time. If she tells you that she and the baby are available until noon, plan to leave at noon unless she suggests otherwise. Never push for more. Every individual has unique needs while adjusting to a massive life transition, and you may have no idea what she is processing emotionally, mentally, or physically.
Dr. Ream says that, for new mothers,"Boundaries are crucial." So, the more she feels that you are respecting her boundaries and space, the more she is likely to trust you to create your own bond and connection with her baby.One sleep-deprived afternoon, I confessed to one of my girlfriends,"Sometimes I feel like I'm grieving the loss of a friend . . . and the friend is me.
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