First responder’s spouse often hears about deaths in town early — sometimes earlier than the deceased’s family.
My husband is a first responder and usually lets me know when neighbors or acquaintances die. Sometimes I know before the rest of their family.
When is the appropriate time to express my condolences: as soon as I find out? Or should I wait until the obituary comes out? The older I get, the more I realize how unprepared I am to deal with death. in this. And that is why Miss Manners believes that hearing the news from an acquaintance would not be ideal. Best to leave it to the professionals and family members most directly affected.A woman I used to have a meal with once a month or so has not communicated with me in three years. I didn’t give it that much thought, due to covid: She has had health issues and might not have felt safe on the subway. Last week she posted on social media that she is looking for a job.
I was really quite appalled. Considering that she hadn’t communicated with me personally in three years, don’t you think she owed it to me to spend at least the first paragraph “making nice?” As in, “I am really sorry I’ve been out of touch for so long, but …” She is not a kid. She is a woman in her 60s who is old enough to have been taught how to write a polite letter . I should add that I have no intention of making a date with her.years, did you reach out to this friend? Miss Manners only asks because if you did, and the friend did not respond, then you are entitled to be indignant.
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