Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
Both my parents and my in-laws are wonderful people. They are kind and generous, and have been very supportive of my husband and me. They do a lot to help out with projects, care for their grandkid and give gifts.
Since they have all saved and been careful with money, they are able to retire . So any gift I give them feels cheap, since if they want something, they can just get it themselves. Plus, they could probably afford better than I could. If I offer one-on-one time with their grandchild as a gift, I am basically asking for babysitting.
However, hosting family dinners, suggesting inexpensive outings or ones where you can procure tickets in advance are ways to show that you appreciate them. So is just saying so -- and checking that the children write their thank-you letters. We have a family member who comes over two or three times per year. He constantly opens our fridge, surveys the contents and then helps himself to other snacks and drinks, when there is already ample food and drink provided. I find this so strange, and it makes me uncomfortable, as though I’m not doing enough to be a good host.GENTLE READER:
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